Moving to Arizona & Looking into Adoption
Life update: we’ve moved to Arizona! It’s been exactly one week since we arrived and the only building that I can confidently locate is the library. So here I am. It is 99 degrees outside and I am wearing a sweater, surrounded by books and strangers, and my most prized possession is my library card. Not much has changed.
Jk begins classes for graduate school next week but has already started spending his mornings on campus. He has a job as a research assistant so he gets his own cubicle and a brand new computer to work on. I plan on working just as soon as I can find a job. It is currently my dream to be a stay-at-home mom, but someone told me you need kids for that! We’re working on it. (More on that in a minute.) We are currently living with Jk’s parents, who are so sweet to let us invade their space for a little while. The plan moving forward is threefold: I need a job; we need to figure out our future family situation; and then we can decide on a more permanent living situation.
Speaking of our future family situation… I know, I know—the big question is, What happened to IVF? Well, a few things happened. First: finances. Before our move, I had better health insurance than I do now. (Eyeroll! I hope this is the last thing I ever write about insurance!) If we were going to do IVF, we needed a lot of financial support to help cover the costs of the procedure and medicines. As it turned out, our insurance provider didn’t cover our issue (abnormal male sperm stuff) so it didn’t matter if I kept my job with the good coverage or not. We just couldn’t afford the cost of IVF on our own.
Second: exhaustion. We went to about 17 doctor’s appointments, all related to infertility, finding answers, and convincing insurance that we deserved coverage. I had many invasive and uncomfortable procedures, had a lot of blood drawn, and took a lot of time off work. By the end, I was exhausted. And that’s not to say that it wouldn’t have been worth it or that we aren’t willing to try again in the future. But mentally, physically, and financially, we needed a break.
So what is next in the pursuit of a family? We want to adopt!
The day after we arrived in Arizona, we (literally) drove through a monsoon to attend an information meeting about foster care and adoption. Soaking wet, we sat in this little classroom in a Methodist church and listened to a presentation about things like agencies, licenses, and possibilities. We learned that children in the foster care system are usually there because of some sort of neglect or abuse. The Arizona Department of Child Safety provides these children with a safe place to stay (via foster care) while ultimately working toward returning the children to their birth families. When this isn’t possible, the Department considers adoption as an alternative.
As we drove home (accompanied by a real double rainbow—I swear to Blog!), Jk and I talked about our thoughts and impressions. We discussed that ultimately we aren’t in a place to be foster parents right now but that we’d love to be a resource for children in the foster care system. Together we decided that what we really want is to pursue private adoption. We are hoping to be involved with a process that is more voluntary. And above all, we are hoping to find a child we can fawn over and learn from, all while being in love.
Jk begins classes for graduate school next week but has already started spending his mornings on campus. He has a job as a research assistant so he gets his own cubicle and a brand new computer to work on. I plan on working just as soon as I can find a job. It is currently my dream to be a stay-at-home mom, but someone told me you need kids for that! We’re working on it. (More on that in a minute.) We are currently living with Jk’s parents, who are so sweet to let us invade their space for a little while. The plan moving forward is threefold: I need a job; we need to figure out our future family situation; and then we can decide on a more permanent living situation.
Speaking of our future family situation… I know, I know—the big question is, What happened to IVF? Well, a few things happened. First: finances. Before our move, I had better health insurance than I do now. (Eyeroll! I hope this is the last thing I ever write about insurance!) If we were going to do IVF, we needed a lot of financial support to help cover the costs of the procedure and medicines. As it turned out, our insurance provider didn’t cover our issue (abnormal male sperm stuff) so it didn’t matter if I kept my job with the good coverage or not. We just couldn’t afford the cost of IVF on our own.
Second: exhaustion. We went to about 17 doctor’s appointments, all related to infertility, finding answers, and convincing insurance that we deserved coverage. I had many invasive and uncomfortable procedures, had a lot of blood drawn, and took a lot of time off work. By the end, I was exhausted. And that’s not to say that it wouldn’t have been worth it or that we aren’t willing to try again in the future. But mentally, physically, and financially, we needed a break.
So what is next in the pursuit of a family? We want to adopt!
The day after we arrived in Arizona, we (literally) drove through a monsoon to attend an information meeting about foster care and adoption. Soaking wet, we sat in this little classroom in a Methodist church and listened to a presentation about things like agencies, licenses, and possibilities. We learned that children in the foster care system are usually there because of some sort of neglect or abuse. The Arizona Department of Child Safety provides these children with a safe place to stay (via foster care) while ultimately working toward returning the children to their birth families. When this isn’t possible, the Department considers adoption as an alternative.
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