Skip to main content

Moving to Arizona & Looking into Adoption

Life update: we’ve moved to Arizona! It’s been exactly one week since we arrived and the only building that I can confidently locate is the library. So here I am. It is 99 degrees outside and I am wearing a sweater, surrounded by books and strangers, and my most prized possession is my library card. Not much has changed.

Jk begins classes for graduate school next week but has already started spending his mornings on campus. He has a job as a research assistant so he gets his own cubicle and a brand new computer to work on. I plan on working just as soon as I can find a job. It is currently my dream to be a stay-at-home mom, but someone told me you need kids for that! We’re working on it. (More on that in a minute.) We are currently living with Jk’s parents, who are so sweet to let us invade their space for a little while. The plan moving forward is threefold: I need a job; we need to figure out our future family situation; and then we can decide on a more permanent living situation.

Speaking of our future family situation… I know, I know—the big question is, What happened to IVF?  Well, a few things happened. First: finances. Before our move, I had better health insurance than I do now. (Eyeroll! I hope this is the last thing I ever write about insurance!) If we were going to do IVF, we needed a lot of financial support to help cover the costs of the procedure and medicines. As it turned out, our insurance provider didn’t cover our issue (abnormal male sperm stuff) so it didn’t matter if I kept my job with the good coverage or not. We just couldn’t afford the cost of IVF on our own.

Second: exhaustion. We went to about 17 doctor’s appointments, all related to infertility, finding answers, and convincing insurance that we deserved coverage. I had many invasive and uncomfortable procedures, had a lot of blood drawn, and took a lot of time off work. By the end, I was exhausted. And that’s not to say that it wouldn’t have been worth it or that we aren’t willing to try again in the future. But mentally, physically, and financially, we needed a break.

So what is next in the pursuit of a family? We want to adopt!

The day after we arrived in Arizona, we (literally) drove through a monsoon to attend an information meeting about foster care and adoption. Soaking wet, we sat in this little classroom in a Methodist church and listened to a presentation about things like agencies, licenses, and possibilities. We learned that children in the foster care system are usually there because of some sort of neglect or abuse. The Arizona Department of Child Safety provides these children with a safe place to stay (via foster care) while ultimately working toward returning the children to their birth families. When this isn’t possible, the Department considers adoption as an alternative. 
As we drove home (accompanied by a real double rainbow—I swear to Blog!), Jk and I talked about our thoughts and impressions. We discussed that ultimately we aren’t in a place to be foster parents right now but that we’d love to be a resource for children in the foster care system. Together we decided that what we really want is to pursue private adoption. We are hoping to be involved with a process that is more voluntary. And above all, we are hoping to find a child we can fawn over and learn from, all while being in love.


Popular posts from this blog

Getting an Answer!

For 400+ days, my husband and I had no idea why we couldn’t get pregnant. This week, we got our answer!

We were scheduled for an appointment with the fertility doctor in the late afternoon on Monday. All throughout the morning, my chest was filled with excitement and anticipation. This was the appointment when we would hear the results from our tests and we would make a plan for how to move forward! In my mind, I ran through every possible outcome—a problem with me; with Jk; with both of us; with neither. More than anything, I just wanted clear answers!
The weather and roads were really bad that day, so our doctor was running a little late with his appointments. Jk and I sat in the waiting room for nearly 30 minutes, going half crazy. Finally, we were taken back to speak with the doctor. I tried to gauge what kind of news he had for us, but his handshake wasn’t giving anything away.  Finally (FINALLY!), we received our test results... It turns out that I’m a Fertile Myrtle! All this …

Expecting to Be Expecting

I’ve written and re-written this post so many times, I’m out of clever comparisons and easy ways to explain what we’re going through. So I’ll just say it.
In December 2015, Jk and I stopped taking birth control. After a year of expecting to be expecting, we’re not even close. We’ve confided in very few friends and family members up to this point, but lately I’ve realized that something therapeutic happens inside when you let a secret out.
While sitting in church on Sunday, I had a revelation. It should have occurred to me sooner but I definitely wasn’t ready for it. This is the thought I had… Make this process of starting a family as fun as possible! It won’t be the way I had previously imagined. Taking a pregnancy test, surprising Jk, finding out the gender, having a baby. But when have we ever been traditional?
For this reason, I’ve decided to share our journey openly and honestly. It will be hard—it already has been—but I want to document it all. Doctors’ appointments, medical tes…

A Surprise Call from the Fertility Doctor

Most days, I do okay. But some days I'm just over this infertility thing. For a few months now, we have shared our ups and downs and it wasn’t until recently that I ran out of words. Two weeks ago, we received a phone call and then a letter confirming that our insurance provider would not pay for In Vitro Fertilization (IVF). I took the news, swallowed it, and let it break my heart. I get that we were put on this earth to grow and all, but lately my prayers have been a little like: Thanks but no thanks, Heavenly Father. I think I’m good on the growing thing.

Today He responded, Nope, and sent another bump in the road.

I was sitting at work when my cell phone started vibrating and my caller ID read, Reproductive Care Center. It’s been a few weeks since we talked with our fertility clinic; I just assumed that because our plan fell through, there was nothing else to follow-up on. Curious, I answered the phone and expected to hear the voice of a nurse or receptionist. Instead, I sp…