Showing posts from 2018

The Story About the Pregnancy Announcement

You’ve probably heard the story about the couple who struggled to get pregnant and with broken hearts, made a plan for adoption. However, just before things could work out—a miracle happened. They got pregnant! The happy couple no longer needed to pursue adoption, because their dreams came true. They would have a baby of their own. It was miraculous and wonderful. A great story.

Record scratch. Freeze frame. This is not a story about us.  I’ve heard about this kind of experience several times since I opened up about infertility and adoption. (“I’ll be honest, I’ve heard it probably 50 times. You can quote me on that,” says Jk.) It has been shared as both a personal experience and a secondhand story. No matter who is sharing, of course it’s amazing. God has the ability to intervene when the time is right and some couples are meant to get pregnant instead of adopt. What a blessing! However... I am cautious whenever I hear this story (or stories like it) for a number of reasons.

1. Regar…

Meeting with an Adoption Attorney

How can I even convey the excitement in my heart?! Monday morning, Jk and I attended our first ever appointment with an adoption attorney! I wrote down a few thoughts following the appointment, knowing they would be scattered, but wanting to record every detail so nothing would slip out of my memory.
A friend referred us to the law firm, saying she occasionally gets emails about potential birth families. Our interest continued to grow when we learned that this firm will hold a copy of our adoption profile book in their office to show birth mothers!

My thoughts immediately after our appointment were:

I’m imagining a birth mother holding a stack of binders and books, containing information about couples who want to adopt her baby; somewhere in that pile, there is a spiral-bound profile for my husband and I, with our faces smiling on the front cover.

I want to know these women--all of these birth mothers who boldly consider their futures and the future of the babies inside of them. My he…

Adoption Certification

Of all the significant dates in our lives, I will mark today on the calendar!

For the last 5 months, we’ve been waiting for our adoption certification. According to the law, 90 days is the maximum wait before the Arizona court has to certify applicants as acceptable or deny their request to adopt. Well...90 days went by without a word and our adoption specialist started to inquire. Secretly, I wondered if a lack of response meant that we were denied, but I was assured that either way, we should have an answer. Every day, I tried to put the issue out of my mind (“A watched pot never boils” right?). With much difficulty, I hardly spoke about it, always thought about it, and never prayed about it.

When 130 days passed, my husband decided to ask the adoptions unit directly. He was informed that the court doesn’t give out information by phone and was told to send an email. Slow slow slow was the process. 
Driving to work this morning, I finally threw the worries of my heart into a prayer…

Happy, Even When I’m Sad

One year ago, I cried constantly. 6 months ago, I felt even worse. I wondered if overwhelming sadness would be my new norm, like a shadow I couldn’t shake. Fast forward to today: I am so happy that I could burst. It’s still just my husband and I—and after two years of trying, we have no babies to show for it. So why am I so happy, even when I’m sad?
... 1. After meeting with a fertility doctor last year, we were under the impression that there were problems going on with Jk’s body that no one could explain and we certainly could not reverse. We took that evaluation and accepted it—until recently.

After moving to Arizona, we decided to look more into Jk’s situation just to be sure that apart from infertility, his health wasn’t at risk. And I’m so glad we did!

Jk recently came home from the urologist (male fertility specialist) and had some new information to share! Jk was diagnosed as having varicoceles, a condition often associated with male infertility. Basically he’s got some bloo…