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Our Decision to Adopt

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The best thing that has happened in the last 20 months occurred yesterday. My husband and I made an actual baby step toward...well, a baby. There is a skinny/chunky, white/black—frankly quite ambiguous child in our future. We have utterly and completely devoted ourselves to adoption!

On Sunday, we arranged a meeting with our new bishop at church. He was kind, compassionate, and had family members who adopted children into their home. He listened to us, didn’t question us, and showed so much respect. We were SO grateful for that. It turned out that he wasn’t very familiar with the adoption process, but he promised to look into it.  Later in the week, Jk went to LDS Family Services to get more information about adoption. For those of you who don’t know, LDS Family Services is operated by the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and assists individuals and families with various kinds of counseling and services. They used to be involved with helping adoptive couples but no longer p…

Adoption Homestudy: Fingerprints and Paperwork

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It has been an exciting few weeks around here. In my last post, we had just attended an adoption class and were preparing for the next steps. Now, not even a month later, we are in full-blown homestudy mode!

The first step was to meet with our adoption specialist from Adoption Home Study Services of Arizona. We had already met Calli during our adoption training but we hadn’t spent any alone time with her. For this meeting, she came to our home, the three of us sat on the couch, and it felt very personalized and comfortable. Jk and I were so glad that we had already been to the educational class because it gave us a great foundation for the things Calli discussed with us. She went through the paperwork and steps needed in order for us to get certified to adopt. That part was pretty simple!

Next, we started our interviews. Calli asked us all kinds of questions about the progression of our relationship and our marriage. We were asked how we met, what attracted us to each other, and what…

Making Progress with Adoption

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Almost a month ago, Jk and I put the word out that we are planning to adopt. We've been asked several times since then what the next steps are and where we are at in the process. It's been an amazing month. At times I've felt so overwhelmed with happiness and feeling the Spirit, I thought I could melt into a puddle. With that said, here's a peak into what we have learned so far and what we've been up to.

Public versus Private Adoption
Let me explain a little about what kind of adoption my husband and I are looking into (because the wording can be confusing). Initially we looked into public adoption, or foster-to-adopt. The foster care system is funded by the state and aims to ultimately reunite birth parents and their biological children. When a public adoption goes through, it means that the couple who has been fostering a child has permanently adopted him or her. Although we can see ourselves going through public adoption in the future, right now we are pursuing p…

Moving to Arizona & Looking into Adoption

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Life update: we’ve moved to Arizona! It’s been exactly one week since we arrived and the only building that I can confidently locate is the library. So here I am. It is 99 degrees outside and I am wearing a sweater, surrounded by books and strangers, and my most prized possession is my library card. Not much has changed.

Jk begins classes for graduate school next week but has already started spending his mornings on campus. He has a job as a research assistant so he gets his own cubicle and a brand new computer to work on. I plan on working just as soon as I can find a job. It is currently my dream to be a stay-at-home mom, but someone told me you need kids for that! We’re working on it. (More on that in a minute.) We are currently living with Jk’s parents, who are so sweet to let us invade their space for a little while. The plan moving forward is threefold: I need a job; we need to figure out our future family situation; and then we can decide on a more permanent living situation.


S…

Deciding Whether or Not to Take the Pregnancy Test

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Every month, it is clear that I am not pregnant. The sign comes as expected—on time and no room for interpretation. But every now and then, it is slow to come, throwing a wrench in things. This is when infertility is especially difficult for me… when I need to decide whether or not to take a pregnancy test.

I know that the odds of getting pregnant are extremely low. I also know that it is possible for us to get pregnant. These two polar opposite truths gnaw at me, telling me that there is hope but only the tiniest bit.

In January, I wrote a blog post about the first pregnancy test that I took. After getting a negative result, I made the definitive decision to forget about tests and wait for the obvious sign that will inevitably come. It is logical and effective to just wait it out. Still, every time there’s the possibility of pregnancy, the thought runs through my head, “To test or not to test…”
There have only been two or three times in the last year and a half that I have been expec…