While Being in Love

On Thursday morning, I took an ovulation test; on Thursday afternoon, I took a pregnancy test. How do I even start to explain this?  At the beginning of the week, I noticed that there were a few little red bumps on my abdomen. We’ve been taking yoga and pilates, so I absently brushed it off as a rash from my yoga mat. However, midweek, the same spot was uncontrollably irritated and the redness was slowly spreading. I knew I needed to schedule an appointment with my dermatologist (these days, I have enough skin problems that I skip the regular doctor). Anything having to do with bodies makes me nervous, so I was feeling vulnerable as I walked into the exam room. I sat there for a few minutes, waiting and trying not to scratch my unbelievably itchy belly. My dermatologist, who is so friendly and wonderful at putting me at ease, examined my rash and immediately knew what was wrong with me. “You have shingles .” Ohh boy. I didn’t know where the diagnosis fell on the scale of

This week, I started using the Clearblue Digital OvulationTest with the specific purpose of finding out if I am ovulating. Basically, ovulation means that it is prime time to get pregnant; and if you’re not ovulating, there’s no way that’s going to happen. According to the reproductive doctor we met with (more on that later), one easy step toward finding answers is to buy a kit and take the tests. No matter what the results are, we should be able to rule certain things out. Yay to finding answers! Taking an ovulation test is the same process as taking a pregnancy test. Pee on a stick, wait a few minutes, and read the indicator. I am reminded of the first and only time I thought that I was pregnant. We had been off birth control for a few months and friends all around me were announcing pregnancies. I was a few days late for my period and I wanted to wait a few more days but...When I was so nervous I couldn’t function anymore, I decided to buy a pregnancy test (without

I’ve written and re-written this post so many times, I’m out of clever comparisons and easy ways to explain what we’re going through. So I’ll just say it. In December 2015, Jk and I stopped taking birth control. After a year of expecting to be expecting, we’re not even close. We’ve confided in very few friends and family members up to this point, but lately I’ve realized that something therapeutic happens inside when you let a secret out. While sitting in church on Sunday, I had a revelation. It should have occurred to me sooner but I definitely wasn’t ready for it. This is the thought I had… Make this process of starting a family as fun as possible! It won’t be the way I had previously imagined. Taking a pregnancy test, surprising Jk, finding out the gender, having a baby. But when have we ever been traditional? For this reason, I’ve decided to share our journey openly and honestly. It will be hard—it already has been—but I want to document it all. Doctors’ appointm