In Vitro Fertilization and Insurance

About a week ago, I messaged an infertility blogger and asked for her thoughts on IVF (In Vitro Fertilization). Jk and I had just gotten back from our doctor’s appointment where our doctor suggested that we try IVF before our move to Arizona in 6 months. I fell hard and fast for the idea of being pregnant by June. But even after hearing an overview of how the process would go, I had a lot of questions. I turned to the author of one of the very first infertility blogs that I followed.

I expressed my reservations about IVF as well as my confidence in our insurance provider. My exact words to her were, “We have [this insurance], which is supposedly the best insurance provider for infertility treatments. Not too worried about the cost.” As it turns out, she had experience using the same insurance provider and had some great insight to give.

I learned that she was denied IVF coverage because she and her husband hadn’t been trying to get pregnant for a certain amount of time. Immediately, a red flag came up in my mind. Jk and I definitely don’t meet that criteria… But our doctor seemed so confident that we would qualify. She continued to send helpful information, saying that if we were to qualify, our insurance would only ever provide enough to cover the first IVF cycle. Additionally, we would be expected to pay for the cost of medicine ourselves. My head was spinning with prices far more expensive than I anticipated. 

At the end of our conversation, my new blogger friend wrote, “I hope I didn’t freak you out with the whole insurance thing.” To be totally candid, I was freaked out. My impression after leaving the doctor’s office was that we would definitely be approved to do IVF and it wouldn’t be very expensive. I hoped that I wouldn’t have the same experience as my friend, but only time would tell. It wasn’t too long before a nurse from our clinic’s billing department called and I knew exactly what questions to ask. The nurse expressed that our insurance company had only started providing infertility care this year, so she couldn’t say for sure if they would approve us or not. We would just have to wait for feedback from the company.


Over the next week, my thoughts were all over the place. I tried to make a plan for the upcoming months, but I felt like a character in a Choose Your Own Adventure book; each choice only leading to more choices. At least twice a day, I texted my husband changing my mind about what we should do. Put off school, save money, do IVF in Utah... Move to Arizona, skip IVF, save for the future. Back and forth I went, not settling on any decision. Finally, on Tuesday morning, I texted Jk: Here is how I am feeling today. Even though I change my mind every day. // I am feeling like we should wait to do IVF or adopt until we are in Arizona. // I want a baby more than anything and it is so hard to wait but something inside me says it’s not the right time yet.

A few hours later, I received a phone call from the billing department, letting me know that our insurance provider would not pay for IVF. We were denied because we hadn’t been trying for long enough and we hadn’t had any failed IUIs. The nurse apologized and hung up. Standing there in the mother’s lounge at work (of all the ironic places), I felt a confirmation that Heavenly Father had been preparing me to receive that news all week.

So here I am, with a hundred feelings in my heart. First and foremost, gratitude to God for giving me a little cushion to break my fall. And close second, confusion about His timing. I wanted so badly for IVF to work out. I want to be pregnant! There, I said it—I want to be pregnant. Carrying a little baby whose name I’ve known for way too long. But that day seems so foreign to me. Some days I don’t feel brave enough to make it there.

Lord, I cannot. But you can.