Making Progress with Adoption
Almost a month ago, Jk and I put the word out that we are planning to adopt. We've been asked several times since then what the next steps are and where we are at in the process. It's been an amazing month. At times I've felt so overwhelmed with happiness and feeling the Spirit, I thought I could melt into a puddle. With that said, here's a peak into what we have learned so far and what we've been up to.
Let me explain a little about what kind of adoption my husband and I are looking into (because the wording can be confusing). Initially we looked into public adoption, or foster-to-adopt. The foster care system is funded by the state and aims to ultimately reunite birth parents and their biological children. When a public adoption goes through, it means that the couple who has been fostering a child has permanently adopted him or her. Although we can see ourselves going through public adoption in the future, right now we are pursuing private adoption. We are not pursing foster-to-adopt.
Private adoption, or independent voluntary placement, means that a birth mother has made the decision to place her biological child for adoption with a family of her choice. One reason that this is a great route for us to take is that we are hoping to adopt a newborn. As first time parents, we look forward to being there for every significant event so that our child knows his or her story from the beginning. Private adoption is not the same thing as a closed adoption. In fact, many private adoptions are open adoptions, meaning the birth parents are able to remain in contact with the adoptive parents and child. This is something that we expect and even prefer. We are interested in an open private adoption.
In Arizona, the process for becoming adoptive parents includes attending an adoption orientation and training. So this past Saturday, we spent the whole day at an event, fulfilling our educational requirement... And it was so good!! There were presentations on everything you could want to know including funding your adoption, finding a birth mom, what it means to have an open adoption, and more. We heard from: two birth mothers sharing their experiences placing their biological babies with families; adoptive couples who had years of wisdom to share; an attorney who has worked with both birth parents and adoptive parents.
We learned so so much. Everything the speakers shared resonated with me. I came to find that I wasn't alone in my fears; every adoptive parent worried about the overwhelming unpredictability of it all. As I sat taking notes, absorbing everything, the Spirit came to my heart over and over and over. Yes, this decision is big, scary, and extremely significant—but it is also glorious. After we left the event, Jk and I talked excitedly all night about what we learned and how we felt.
What's the next step? A home study. We have already spoken to an agency about starting what is called an adoption home study, which includes things like background checks, getting letters of reference, & signing a lot of paperwork. We will be interviewed, have our home inspected, & a report will be written in our behalf. In the coming weeks, we will follow the steps to complete the home study and eventually we will be certified to adopt in the state of Arizona!
So that's where we are at in our infertility journey. Near the beginning, but one step closer to our goal: a family. As for my faith along the way, I've thrown out my old testimony because it didn't fit me anymore. I've learned to rely on God in a new way that is unique to these life challenges. Despite where I've been with God, I've been with God. I've yelled at Him and avoided Him, but I always come back asking for His strength to rebuild my faith and my heart. As we pursue adoption, I have felt His presence pushing me forward and encouraging me not to give up—because this will all be worth it.
Public versus Private Adoption
Let me explain a little about what kind of adoption my husband and I are looking into (because the wording can be confusing). Initially we looked into public adoption, or foster-to-adopt. The foster care system is funded by the state and aims to ultimately reunite birth parents and their biological children. When a public adoption goes through, it means that the couple who has been fostering a child has permanently adopted him or her. Although we can see ourselves going through public adoption in the future, right now we are pursuing private adoption. We are not pursing foster-to-adopt.
Private adoption, or independent voluntary placement, means that a birth mother has made the decision to place her biological child for adoption with a family of her choice. One reason that this is a great route for us to take is that we are hoping to adopt a newborn. As first time parents, we look forward to being there for every significant event so that our child knows his or her story from the beginning. Private adoption is not the same thing as a closed adoption. In fact, many private adoptions are open adoptions, meaning the birth parents are able to remain in contact with the adoptive parents and child. This is something that we expect and even prefer. We are interested in an open private adoption.
Adoption Educational Requirements
In Arizona, the process for becoming adoptive parents includes attending an adoption orientation and training. So this past Saturday, we spent the whole day at an event, fulfilling our educational requirement... And it was so good!! There were presentations on everything you could want to know including funding your adoption, finding a birth mom, what it means to have an open adoption, and more. We heard from: two birth mothers sharing their experiences placing their biological babies with families; adoptive couples who had years of wisdom to share; an attorney who has worked with both birth parents and adoptive parents.
We learned so so much. Everything the speakers shared resonated with me. I came to find that I wasn't alone in my fears; every adoptive parent worried about the overwhelming unpredictability of it all. As I sat taking notes, absorbing everything, the Spirit came to my heart over and over and over. Yes, this decision is big, scary, and extremely significant—but it is also glorious. After we left the event, Jk and I talked excitedly all night about what we learned and how we felt.
Home Study
What's the next step? A home study. We have already spoken to an agency about starting what is called an adoption home study, which includes things like background checks, getting letters of reference, & signing a lot of paperwork. We will be interviewed, have our home inspected, & a report will be written in our behalf. In the coming weeks, we will follow the steps to complete the home study and eventually we will be certified to adopt in the state of Arizona!
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