Getting an Answer!

For 400+ days, my husband and I had no idea why we couldn’t get pregnant. This week, we got our answer!

We were scheduled for an appointment with the fertility doctor in the late afternoon on Monday. All throughout the morning, my chest was filled with excitement and anticipation. This was the appointment when we would hear the results from our tests and we would make a plan for how to move forward! In my mind, I ran through every possible outcome—a problem with me; with Jk; with both of us; with neither. More than anything, I just wanted clear answers!

The weather and roads were really bad that day, so our doctor was running a little late with his appointments. Jk and I sat in the waiting room for nearly 30 minutes, going half crazy. Finally, we were taken back to speak with the doctor. I tried to gauge what kind of news he had for us, but his handshake wasn’t giving anything away. 

Finally (FINALLY!), we received our test results... It turns out that I’m a Fertile Myrtle! All this time, we suspected endometriosis or at least thought something was off with my body. We were wrong. As we looked through the results from Jk’s sperm test, our doctor explained that the numbers were shockingly low—like a 1% chance of us getting pregnant naturally. I know that I’ve joked about hoping something was wrong with Jk rather than myself, but in reality it didn’t matter whether it was him or me. Infertility obviously affects both of us! Of course we were bummed, but in a way we were also relieved. We had an answer!

Coming into that appointment, I had my mind made up that I was not interested in IVF (In Vitro Fertilization). In fact, a week before, someone asked me if I was going to do "those shot things” and I confidently said no. I had heard a lot of stories about failed pregnancies from IVF and also honestly, I am just really afraid of shots! But as we sat in our doctor’s office that day, we were given all kinds of helpful information. First, I realized that in the process of IVF, injections don’t even last 2 weeks and that the needles are tiny. More importantly, we talked about timing and possibilities. I was given hope that by June (4 months away!), I could be pregnant through IVF. My heart gushed and my brain shifted and I thought, We are going to be one of those couples who has a baby through IVF.

As we drove home, I wanted to shout Hallelujahs out the window! We could be pregnant before we even move to Arizona! Jk and I called our moms and told them the great news. I texted certain friends and family members, saying our appointment had gone well and letting them know that we made a plan for moving forward. I was on Cloud Nine. For a day.

The rest of the story is a roller-coaster that we’re still riding. After making up our minds to do IVF, we discovered that our insurance won’t cover a giant portion of IVF, which is the medicine. While setting up pre-authorization through the clinic's billing department, I started to panic. I heard the estimated price for medication and all of my hopes for getting pregnant in June slipped away. At this point, we are still trying to process all that has happened and we haven't made any definitive decisions. This is an entirely new level of infertility that I haven’t experienced before. I want to do hard things. But it turns out doing them is hard!